hgtv

Note To Self: 10 Steps To Handle The Haters

I hear that once you have haters, you're doing something right. I've been getting a taste of that lately, so I'm 100% positive I'm becoming sort of a big deal. Mahogany and leather bound books, y'all (please tell me you can feel the sarcasm oozing). I've seen comments stating that my designs are carbon copy HGTV. (Is that a compliment?) I've also seen "no personality....dull and lifeless" as a description of the kitchen above at one of my recent renovations. Whether the negative feedback is accurate or not, is not really the point. It's what do I do with this information? WELL, I'll tell you. Below are step by step instructions for myself on how to think my way through the hater-ade. Tweak as you feel necessary for your own haters.

1. Decide if this person's opinion is constructive criticism or just bullying. This is sometimes difficult to judge but my rule of thumb is if they are being blunt and rude, then their comments are automatically null and void. If they seem to be making an effort to be kind, yet state where improvements can be made, then perhaps they are on to something. 

2. Pay attention to where the haters are coming from. If they are commenting on my page or social media accounts, then it's likely they are or have been a fan of my work sometime in the past. They found me somehow. They must have liked something. I'll take note of their comment and move on. If it is a photo of mine that someone else has shared or that I promoted/advertised on social media, I give bad feedback or bullying very little merit. I'm now once removed. They don't know me. Maybe the commenter is not even a fan of modern design. Maybe they don't understand that certain houses require certain design details. That's ok. I can't help them understand.

3. Remember that design is subjective. Not everyone will like what I like. That's fine. If someone showed me a huge traditional kitchen, I probably wouldn't like it and would say so if asked. That doesn't mean it wasn't done well. Just not my cup of tea. There's no way of knowing a person's tastes unless they come right out and tell you.

4. Repeat my mission. Push the envelope, try new things and set myself apart from the "others". This is very important. If I'm going to be different, I'm going to get different responses. Maybe even....GOD FORBID....negative responses. Some may not understand why I don't like to put upper cabinets in many of my homes (am I the only one that gets a dented skull from open cabinet doors?) or why I won't design a typical "yuppy farmhouse" style Arcadia home. It's been done. My mission is to create new designs, not carbon copies. Not even of HGTV. Truth be told....I don't even have cable and only recently borrowed a TV so we could watch Olympic gymnastics.

5. Remember that armchair bulliers are regular people. They're sitting at home or bored in their office throwing out thoughtless comments to faceless accounts. They aren't thinking or caring about the person behind the Dwelling Studio brand. In fact, they probably don't know it's just little ole me!

6. Know that I can, do and will make mistakes. My designs might miss the mark in places sometimes. That's ok. Every house is a new blank canvas. I learn from each house and apply those lessons to future homes.

7. Tell myself, "At least I'm out there trying." Most people aren't brave enough to flip houses. If I had a dollar for every person who told me they wanted to flip houses but never did, I'd have all the monies in the world to flip EVEN MORE HOUSES and make even MORE BOLD CHOICES and DESIGN MAGIC (or mistakes). I'm out there plugging away making design decisions. Countless design decisions. My brain hurts sometimes. 

8. Remember that I'm a house flipper and stager, not an interior designer. There's a huge difference. I'm designing for an imaginary person, not a known client. I straddle the line between pushing the envelope and pleasing a small portion of the public shopping in that neighborhood, on that date, with X amount of dollars. Shoot that just scared me and I've been doing this for a while. 

9. Remind myself of the tight budget and timeline. While some might drop $60,000 on their kitchen, I'm spending that on an ENTIRE house. When I stage my homes, I buy everything myself. I like to do it and I think it makes the house look more custom. I don't always have time or money to go get another bed (plus bedding, pillows, mattress) and I almost never have the patience and money for curtains. I work with what I've got. People see one of my rooms, they say, "Hmm, curtains would've been better." Well, no shit. Please buy them and install them. Thank you.

10. Move on from the haters. They aren't worth my time.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about this over the years. Too much time. I've let the fear of what others might think or say about my work (aka me) creep into my head and slow me down. I can't say it won't slow me down again in the future, I'm human. But it won't stop me.

No one can. 

NO ONE. 

Wah ah ah ah ah! :)

How to Install Shiplap In A Shower (and be the coolest people on the planet)

Let me tell you a tail of when I got sick to death of tile. I already had a white subway tile bathroom on the first floor of this renovation and I didn't want to repeat again in the master. After all, I was trying to get top dollar with this home. The sale price of this home would change the neighborhood. No pressure. 

So, I became obsessed with finding a way to pull off shiplap. Maybe it would work if I could find the longest tile known to man. Nope. Six foot tiles do not exist. So, I did what I do best, I Googled shiplap showers. Unfortunately, my best Googling found mostly examples of outdoor showers with the exterior shiplap siding. Eventually, I came across one indoor shower (which I cannot find now) with overlapping shiplap boards (I believe this is true shiplap). It wasn't flat stacked Joanna Gaines shiplap, but at least it was a start.

So, it could be done! The woman who posted the indoor shiplap shower had been painted it all a shade of purple and said that after 5 years, they repainted it. It was still going strong. This was acceptable. A bonus even. Can you imagine? In 5 years she could paint it blue and now you have a totally different bathroom. 

I pitched this idea to my contractor, Joe Wood of All Around Joe, to figure out the best way of getting this done. You know those contractors that get annoyed with challenges and are quick to say, "No that can't be done."? Joe is not one of those people. It didn't come to him immediately, but I could see the wheels turning. He didn't give up. This would be his creation, too.

So for all of you with questions on how this works, I decided to interview Joe for ya. 

What were your thoughts about the shiplap shower idea?

This wasn't going to be something you'd see or get to install everyday. I got excited about it and immediately started thinking about what we could do to make it happen. 

What were your concerns about having a shiplap shower?

My main concern was durability. My other concern was how to do shiplap and keep it water tight. So, my goal was to make sure the prep was 100% perfect before the shiplap was installed. 

Can you tell me about the material you decided to use?

I decided to use a material called AZEK. It's a material usually used on exteriors so I knew it could hold up. Just to make sure, I called AZEK to see what their thoughts were on using their trim boards in the shower. It was funny because the first person I spoke to said, "Hmmm. That's a good question. We've never had anyone use it in that manner. But, I don't see why it wouldn't work." He then asked someone else in the office. I could then hear a bunch of them discussing how nobody had ever asked that but they thought it was cool and didn't see why it wouldn't work. I was confident this was the right product to use.

How did you go about installing the boards?

I started by making a waterproof system before installing the boards. I used the Schluter-Kerdi board system to make it 100% waterproof. Next, to install the AZEK "shiplap" boards, I used OSI adhesive for PVC material to bond to the Kerdi board. Then, to install the next board above it, I siliconed the entire "grout" seam. I could only do about 5 rows at a time, then start again 24 hours later after it dried. 

How did you finish off the shiplap? 

I sprayed it using an airless HVLP sprayer. There are two types of this material. I chose the type that was more porous so it would accept paint once installed. I used a marine grade acrylic enamel which would normally be used on a ship. I knew it would be durable enough for a shower.

What kind of upkeep and maintenance do you expect for this shower?

I expect it to be able to be washed down with soap and water. Like a boat or a cast iron tub, it will likely have to be be painted again some day. That wouldn't be for many many years. 

So there you have it. A shiplap shower if you want one. 

***UPDATE:

Many of you have asked how the shiplap shower is holding up. We sold this house right away, before listing actually. So, the only way of finding out was to ask the new homeowners. They reported back that after more than a year in the home, the shower is holding up well. They take care to wipe it down after showering just to be sure. 

How To Install a Ship Lap Shower

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